Thursday, December 15, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Monday, December 5, 2011
At one of the show days we had for the house, my camera went walkie bye-byes. I am completely pissed off about this but what can you do?
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
I also issued a challenge to my bestest mate to get on with it and start writing again. if yer reading this, dude, where's today's sample?
we have put the radio in the office. there were several reasons for this.
1. my youngest daughter - who sits right at the end of the room to me, has a problem with her nose ... she sniffs or breathes really heavily all day long - sometimes she sounds like a crack ho .... after half an hour or so, it gets to a point where i want to go and ram a toothbrush up her nostrils. And I don't sit right next to her (my eldest daughter does, poor thing)
2. having music in the office is supposed to make for more relaxed workers ... i never found that to be the case in the past. Possibly because in all the other companies i've worked for, we had to listen to Highveld or 5fm ...
We have it into Mixfm - which is broadcast from Midrand and actually plays half decent stuff most of the day - alternative, punk, rock, grunge ... old, old classics (60's, 70's ... even old Chuck Berry!) .. every now and then they chuck in Beyonce, or middle of the road rap crap - then we just turn it down. Yesterday it was great fun, we had it on full blast playing London Calling (the Clash), next was Nirvana's "Smells like teen spirit" ... so we were all head banging about and pogoing everywhere. Great fun.
Thursday, October 20, 2011
I know this is old but i just love this chick ....
Monday, October 17, 2011
God it’s almost the end of the year again and i’m still languishing in Gauteng.
I’ve gone to Pot - starting ceramic classes in November – should be fun pottering about with wet clay.
I’m getting trickles of enquiries in on a regular basis from the Little Vixen website. Most of the time it’s for things i’ve run out of stock of ... duh. Can’t complain though, at least there is interest out there. Sometime in November/December i’m going to arrange another LV party and sell stuff ‘live’, it’s always fun selling to chicks in an informal setting, little bit of wine, some snacks ...
I’m also under orders now to write a book, dammit! ergo i have to get a handheld dictaphone/voice recording device and just sommer speak it out – that way it will get done quicker, i hope. Every other method has failed dismally – i.e. keeping a note book next to the bed, or in my bag; using a dedicated laptop ... etc. etc. .... the ideas always come to me when i don’t have any of the aforementioned equipment to hand.
what yer listening to?
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
have a champion.
Someone who carries my banner, takes care of me, has my back and is not afraid to stand up on my behalf. Someone who I can lay with at night, to hold and love, to talk to about nothing things and big things. Someone who loves me with no reservation, is happy to be with me, feels fulfilled because he is with me. Someone who can protect me when the world crushes in, like it is doing at the moment.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Friday, September 9, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Hey ... i don’t want to say it too LOUD but looks like i’ve sorted out all the IT crap i was having with the website design, functionality etc. etc. (yawn) and that once I have finished loading all the database again (groan), i will be able to GO LIVE – i am tentatively setting that date to August 15th – which is the 42nd anniversary of when Woodstock opened its doors to flower children everywhere and I fell head over heels in love with Jimi Hendrix
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Is it possible, in today’s society, to know what God is? Is it necessary to even think about this question? Is it relevant? Do you think about the existence (or not) of God on a regular basis?
If you do, does it mean you are a crack pot? Does it mean that you are a Born Again? Why would you have to be born again? This implies that there was something wrong with the way you were made the first time round. God isn't supposed to make mistakes.
I don’t doubt. But i don’t understand. I know there is something ‘other’, something way bigger than me, way more significant than politicians, rock stars and movie actors, something so super-massive, it dwarfs the Sun, the solar system, cosmos ... and so tiny, it lives inside my cells, is buried in my genetic DNA. The presence of God is atomic and cellular. And it keeps wanting me to write about it.
Monday, August 8, 2011
Thursday, August 4, 2011
The man of the house (plus my other two sons) are all going to the Drakensberg for an Airsoft Convention ... play-play army dudes shooting the shit out of each other for two days, crawling about, digging trenches, freezing their butts off ... all in the name of fun. Can't see it myself.
I have given up posting updates about the state of play with regards my new online business, the website is still not up and running (don't ask me, i only work here) ... ONE DAY i will be able to present you all (er ... i think there's only one person reading this) with the LINK!! Oh joy and wow, won't you be thrilled then?
Answer the question. Long or short ... email it to me or post here. email is firstname.lastname@example.org but you knew that
Open to anyone.
Over and out.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
i note, with some gloom, that a certain person has not been able to comment on my blog ... i actually have no farking clue why that should happen. If you are on WordPress that might be an issue, damned if I know. Hope it doesn't persist. Comments are enabled, always have been.
Been very lazy and not posting to the blog for a l-o-o-ong time. Lots of stuff got in the way, life is what you call it. The website that i am starting (cough) is coming along, not anywhere near as quickly as I had initially thought. Had quite a few technical issues, that still seem to be lurking. We are now going to be using Linux, so i guess i have to get that old penguin t-shirt out after all. I have had a lot of problems sorting out a payment portal that is compatible with the site design, hopefully we have now sorted it out because it's becoming right tedious. Monday everything gets exported to Linux and then the big test. Hold thumbs. you'd think i was launching Sony or something.
You'll see that i deleted the NASA thingie about the evolution of space ships ... quite stupid putting there in the first place. I have also fiddled about a bit with the site tonight - probably fucked it up left right and centre. Par for the course.
My personal life doesn't happen at all. I have spent no time doing anything for me personally for maybe six months or more - packed up all my painting stuff, books, beads ... Life revolves around work, 'puters, stress, children, work, tv, sleeping (not much) and trying to cram forty-eight hours into 24 on a daily basis. Our house is on the market, not having much joy with the Estate agency though, and we signed a sole mandate (which i wasn't keen on but what can you do, i'm not in charge) ... anyhow they are threatening to do a 'show house' in a couple of weeks time - not going to lose any sleep over that and not expecting much to come of it. I don't believe anyone ever sells a house via show days. You just get a bunch of nosy neighbours dropping by to go through your stuff and see if your house is better than theirs, then snigger at the price you want for it.
Been trying to learn SEO - i'm so stupid though, can't retain information for longer than it takes to read it. Maybe i should rather do a memory skills course. whatever.
i wish we could get the house sold. we are kinda hedging our lives on it happening and soon ... otherwise, i can't see where we are going to be heading. We all feel pretty directionless at the moment. My other daughter has moved back in with us, to save money - i managed to get her British passport organised for her and will be doing her twin brothers' this month. So that's one thing i've accomplished i guess.
Work just drones on and on and drains the life blood out of us. We are all so heartily sick of immigration and all the whining, baby-stupid clients we have to deal with on a daily basis. It will be such a relief to get the house sold and be able to shut down the immigration business for good. we are so trapped in it. Stuck in sinking sand.
I took Ewan to his first 'invited' birthday party today - a little girl in his nursery school also turned two this month (his birthday party was last weekend). The little girl had a Hello Kitty party - the mother had organised party planners to do the whole thing - little tables set out with covered chairs, balloons tied to each chair, perfect little Hello Kitty table settings and party buckets for each child. A jumping castle, snacks etc. etc. ... all done for her by the party planners, including a beautiful two tiered Hello Kitty cake ... and the mom kept wandering around saying how stressed she was organising the party. Huh? All she did was PAY people to throw the party for her! Makes me want to weep when i see how useless some people are.
My daughter and I had to make a Disney Castle cake on Friday afternoon for Faye's School Winter Carnival. It was a competition. Needless to say that there was much fighting in the kitchen, yelling and screaming, a few tears. Grumpy looks. But eventually we managed to make a Castle Cake that wasn't too bad - although a bit drunk looking (leaning tower of Pisa kinda thing) ... oh well, Faye thought it was wonderful. We didn't win the competition (it was all age-appropriate groups) but at least we tried and many people were very impressed with it, as they passed us walking up the road from the car park to the school.
Oh yes, SEATTLE ended up back in the picture this week ... nothing to do with me. Seems 'LinkedIn' have a feeling that he is a persona that I 'may like to know' ... so they sent me his details. God knows why. I don't.
Nothing much else to report. Life blubbers along.
I need something REALLY GOOD to listen to - any ideas?
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Well let’s begin with a checklist of stuff that i’ve managed to sort out for my new Adult Toy website, which will be launching (going Live) in July (Dog willing).
Organised domain name registration and hosting/email/website etc.
Organised purchase of company and registration – just waiting for updated CK docs
Organised back-end database and nitty gritty technical stuff and am currently working night and day to get that all 100% fine, so my developers can sign it off.
Organised my other developer to finish (almost) the overall look of my website, colour scheme and LOGO (yay got that today)
Organised payment gateway – registration, integration set-up information for the main developer
Sourced some quite excellent suppliers – ordered maningi Rands (and US Dollars) worth of stuff ... hey! Keep out of my cupboard, you!
Started working on product descriptions but this still needs a lot more razzmatazz and vavoomffff ...
Organised ideas for marketing campaign for launch party
Started working on Internet marketing campaign - sheesh
Presently sorting out gorgeous packaging = even though goods/products will be delivered in anonymous/discreet packaging per courier or post, the initial boxes that things are wrapped in has got to be stupendously wonderful. No expense spared on that score!
Getting quotes now for stickers, magnetic decal for my car, business cards, pamphlets and leaflets
Coming up with new ideas for the blog, which is an integral part of the website .... now this is where YOU come in ...
I’m thinking of offering a small fee for erotic short stories or really funny articles with a sexy angle – no more than 500 words a shot. South African contributors will be paid R500 per published piece per EFT or credit card; overseas contributors would be paid the equivalent in offshore currency per Paypal.
I will credit the author- so i would need your name or alias, city/country of domicile and if you want the item linked, then your personal URL/blog address - for publishing purposes
Copyright will remain yours.
I am working out the basic editorial guidelines because I have to be very picky and choosy about what i put up there on the blog! The guidelines are looking like this:
1. All pieces are written with the express understanding that the piece is published on an Adults Only website (i.e. content is for over 18's only)- you will have to sign a disclaimer.
2. No foul or obscene language to be used in the pieces - just good writing ladies and gents. There are many acceptable terms you can use for the sex act, you don't have to use the F word or others like it. Don't test me on this - i will be very careful what is published on the blog.
3. You can write on any topic that has a sexual, erotic nature - so long as it doesn't feature bestiality, children ... the usual no-nos.
4. I will have ultimate editorial control - if i want to use your piece but feel it needs editing, I will discuss with you and if you agree to the changes, then voila we are all happy.
5. I will only pay for the article within 14 days of it being published live on the Blog. So, for example, if you submit work to me and I accept it, you will only get paid once it has been published.
6. I have control over when your article/piece is published, if something comes along after i have accepted your piece that is better, more topical or livelier, then it will get preference over yours.
The above guidelines are normal practice and what I had to work to when i did freelance writing for the Star newspaper in Johannesburg.
I will initially only feature one story and article per month, thereafter if things get going it could increase to a weekly thing.
Please let me know if anyone would be interested in participating.
I'd really like to have something special on the Blog when we go live in July.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Of course, this entailed her moving in to my lickle bedroom- along with one psychopathic furry creature (aka Main Coone Kitten/Cat). so things were a bit cramped (still are) but we managed to find her a bachelor pad down the road yesterday and she's moving in there at the beginning of May. It will be the first time that she's actually got a place all to herself. Exciting times for her. Will be a big financial load of my back as well, these past couple of days have cost me a fortune.
So ... I have the house to myself for the next few days ... whoopie dah.
All the famdamily are away at the coast (Kwazulu-Natal) camping ... i miss little man so much already.
Our plans to go to the UK are moving along very slowly ... well let's rephrase that. They have stopped.
Even though my eldest daughter (the lady of the house) keeps trying to re-assure me that plans are on track, i can't see it.
We've managed to paint the outside of the house and with a bit of luck and management might be able to get an estate agent in to value the place before the end of May. The entire project relies on us selling the house and getting a reasonable profit out of the deal. If that doesn't happen, then this whole UK thing will not happen. My original projection of being there in June was complete pie-in-the-sky ... ho hum
I'm supposed to be working on the web development for my own business this weekend with my eldest son ... so maybe something good happens there. FNB emailed me about opening up a bank account online (cos i just can't get to see anyone in the branch to actually give papers to) ... by the time i eventually get this thing off the ground, i will have spent all my start up capital.
Have a groovy long weekend
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Speaking of religious icons ...
been trying to find my CD of 'Couldn't stand the weather' but it seems to have disappeared, along with a whole load of other cds i collected back in the day. Thank dog for UBoob ... my fave track off that album was the studio version of this one ....
To think Stevie was taken off this world over twenty years ago ... that's insane!
Friday, April 8, 2011
In December 1968 when i migrated to South Africa with my parents, i boarded the plane with a box containing over 70 black vinyl seven-singles (the old 45's), on the top was "Albatross", which had just been released. It was a treasure of mine for a very long time. But THIS song is my all time favourite Peter Green toon:
Pure, clean, elegant, genius.
trying out my new Dell Vostro 3700 ... lovely machine, very happy with it so far.
ended up buying it from Inedible Corruption ... they were the only outfit in my area who actually had stock. so ended up paying premium price for it but i don't care.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
I then had to go through the performance of opening a 7 day account - why? i was paying cash in advance, up front, for the machine, so this was annoying but i went through the whole account application process, was approved and then the order was officially acknowledged.
Next I found out that they wouldn't accept my credit card, i had to do an EFT. That wouldn't have been a problem at the beginning of March but after laying out funds to register my new company etc. etc. i was just a few hundred short on the cash front, so wanted to pay by credit card. Another hassle to overcome. Anyway, got that sorted out - i paid my daughter by credit card and she agreed to transfer the funds from her company account to the place i was buying the laptop from. All done and dusted. Sit back and wait for delivery of my new machine.
Next thing, i get an email (not a phone call) saying that they didn't have stock of the machine i'd ordered, would i take this one instead? and there were the details for another machine (lower specs and not what i wanted at all). I said, er no ...
then i was presented with another machine a day later in email (again no phone call) and this one looked okay. it was RED, so obviously goes faster. (hur hur)
I agreed on the substitute machine and sat back waiting for delivery of the new choice.
Then i get told, the next day (again in email) that there's no stock of THAT one either but I can have a PIENK one. I tell salesman that i will whack him over the head if he tries to deliver a PINK laptop to me.
By now, i'm starting to smell all sorts of rats.
I request my money back
Then get told to hold on, the supplier is getting more stock on Monday and i will be presented with more options to choose from. I tell the chap that i am not interested in Acer or HP, so don't even bother to send me specs on those machines.
Tuesday comes ... late in afternoon, i start getting emails with one machine per email - first off ... you guessed it - Acer.
I email back, rather snottily, and tell sales chap that he wasn't listening to me and i am not interested in Acer. He replies that he knows that but wants to send me specs of ALL machines they have available.
Then sends me emails with ... HP machines.
Can't people READ anymore?
I again ask for my money refunded.
Then he sends me another email with details of an even lower spec machine, nothing like what i originally ordered.
Last night, i sent an email threatening to take them to a lawyer if they didn't refund the money like NOW.
I get more emails today, with more machines i'm not interested in and eventually a promise email from the salesman telling me that they will refund the money i've paid to them already and he's sorry that the supplier let him down and i was messed about.
I'm still waiting for my refund.
I guess this saga will continue.
Monday, April 4, 2011
.... and leaving me with so many exquisite sounds to feed off, like this one from Iceland's M'um ....
Sunday, April 3, 2011
i got the online account opened on Friday evening, oh big whop.
however ... one can't actually do anything with an online facility because there's no actual bank account attached to it, is there? stupid bloody waste of time and energy that was.
so i will have to take time off this coming week to go in to the bank when you can actually get near a consultant and try my best to get a bloody bank account opened, geez.
don't want to get my hopes up but with a bit of it, my computer supplier might have the right notebook for me tomorrow ...
found out, whilst surfing through one of my fave websites this evening, that I have RLS (restless leg syndrome) and the cure for it is a bit of onanism. whodathunkit?
Decided to start posting one or two songs each time of toons i completely dig, and always will 100% for all time. Starting with this one by the genius that is BECK:
Follow this link to a little thing i wrote that was inspired by this Beck song back in May 2005 on my original Story-Crossing site. Keep wondering whether it would be a worthwhile exercise resurrecting that concept?
Anyhow, i'm tired ... leaving you with a track by one of my fave bands of the past ten years ... and hardly anybody really gives a damn about them. Warning: Shock Horror! NO annoying moving pictures ... you can just listen, like we used to do when radio was half-decent and played stuff that people wanted to pay money for.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
part the first
yes, so i am getting there slowly but surely. got Hosting sorted out, we begin work on the actual architecture this weekend. Not got logo yet but it's in the stewing pot and shouldn't take much longer. going into bank/s* to rob them on saturday ... cos i do need to get me a business account, I suppose. i used to think that stuff was lank boring but it isn't ... it's exciting, it means that i am quite serious about actually trying to make some munny.
checking out the naughty bits
holy crap, i got the catalogues on Wednesday ... i've gone purple. the place where i'm getting my 'stock' from is based in South Africa but their head office/factory is in Germany ... the catalogue is about five hundred pages thick, is heavier than a bible and has over 7000 products in it. some of the stuff would make a sailor blush.
so there i was all getting excited for delivery of my brand new notebook that was supposed to happen tomorrow ... only to find out that they aint got stock. then the chap emails me and says "we can't get the red one but they've got pienk ... would you like a pienk laptop?"
(he's Afrikaans is my salesman, so has a cute way of spelling things)
Fuck the EFF OFF !
My reply went something like - "
Do I look like a PINK person to you? If you bring me a PINK 'puter, I will smash you over the head with it."
He does have a sense of humour does my IT salesman but for effs sake, i'm quite pissed off actually. Why make me go through all the rigmarole of opening an account, take my money and then tell me you haven't got stock and erm ... won't be ordering that particular model anymore because it's been superceded with another range (of course, more expensive). Now I have to wait while he gets a few more for me to see and emails me the specs etc. etc. .... quite irritating. So i won't be playing with a brand new toy over this weekend and i was so looking forward to that.
my eldest g-child (who is six in May) had her first concert today and all the 'old folks' were invited. it was very sweet, i'm so proud of her.
babysitting little man on sat'day night - cos mom, dad and eldest g-child are going to some birthday party for one of their ex-biker friends. I have decided that i am going to get him an Optimus Prime Transformer or some such mega-toy and we are going to play with it, make a lot of noise, eat junk food, watch movies, drink beer, jump on the bed ... the usual stuff you do with 20 month old toddlers.
seven (were you honestly counting?!)
can't see myself getting any leave this year, which is making me a bit depressed. i'm very tired and really would like a week or so to myself and it looks like that is how i will be spending holidays in future. what with school and holidays and the man and woman of the house having to tailor holidays to suit school holidays. we can't all go away at the same time, what with the business/es etc. The lady and man of the house, with children, are going away towards the end of April for almost two weeks (camping at the coast) and yours truly has the place to herself. it will be fun for one or two days but then it will be crap, cos i always miss them when they are not here. i'm supposed to have gone down to Hermanus already to scatter my mum's ashes in the sea ... stupid. won't be doing that any time soon and don't want to go near Hermanus for a very long time, if ever at all but i wouldn't mind going down to Cape Town. I miss you, you know. Yes, you.
I'm still madly in love with this Radiohead thingie - i know this band is not everyone's cup of tea. i just think their music is so technically brilliant, smooth, liquid and complex. why they stopped at 8 tracks is beyond me.
*just thought i'd put that in to see if anyone's awake or actually reading this piffle on a regular basis.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Thursday, March 24, 2011
i'm quite the businesswoman when i get started.
Monday, March 21, 2011
try two full days trawling the web, random name search engines, dictionaries, thesauruses (is there such a word? who cares), phrase books, Histories of the Norse language, Yorkshire dialect lists, Medieval archives and Latin to English translators .... did you know that SONY got it's name from Sonus? No, i bet you didn't ... cough. Anyway, i digress. Can't find a bloody suitable name YET for my new website - the name has to come first you see (hah, there's a pun if ever there was one).
i might have a competition - to see if one of my illustrious reader/s can come up with a suitable name that i can buy as BOTH a dotcom and a dotcoza (cos i'm a greedy sonofabitch) ... prize will be a weekend away*#
I have found many names for websites, some quite good and to the point (classy and elegant, not sleazy). But it's like trying to find a pudding in a palace, cos of all the domain-name pirates there are out there ... you find a perfect name, do a search and it's taken but you can have it for $4999 ... yawn. I've gotten really tired of this exercise today. I found a great website called Bustaname and thought my problems were solved ... it's a really execellent website ... if you are looking for obscure computer generated really crap domain names that nobody on earth would actually want to buy ... argh.
*who knows where
# or not
Friday, March 18, 2011
meeting with my 'web developer' tomorrow for lunch, so hope i can get all the stuff sorted out for the new site, or at least start working on the basic framework/architecture.
the light of my life is a bit sicky poo at the moment - literally. he stands and projectile vomits wherever he wants to (has some kind of post-nasal drip that sits there waiting to be upchucked come light of day ... luverly) ... we kept him at home today, which i find is something quite wonderful and a special treat - bugger work - i would rather spend all day playing with him than working anytime. he's two in July, can't believe how the time has whizzed past. His sister is 6 in May, that's even scarier (and so is she). what is it with 5 1/2 year olds? once they start school, it's over - you can forget having any influence at all in their lives. we actually don't know zilch. at least today, she came home in a good frame of mind and actually said hello to everyone, like she meant it. makes a change. god knows what she will be like when she's 16. Mercifully i probably won't be alive then.
i had a few things to say tonight but have ended up diarising. never mind.
my second daughter is going to get engaged soon - the ring is almost ready (she was given a stone by a friend of her husband-to-be and has had it set in her own design). Of course, the husband-to-be hasn't actually asked for permission to marry her yet ... that's looming on the horizon. i hope to be out of the country on holiday somewhere exotic when that happens, so i can't be held responsible. I guess i have to just face up to the fact that she IS going to marry this jerk, no matter what any of her brothers/sisters/parents/friends/cousins/uncles/aunts and grand-parents think. Oi vey.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
I used to have definable passions and interests that drove me to do all sorts of crazy, successful magic things but now, I feel like I’m in a pinball machine smacking about from one obstacle to another, not really sure where I’m going, what the purpose is, other than I will eventually roll down the black hole into nothingness. Great. It’s being so enthusiastic that keeps us going.
I had what I thought was a really good idea at the beginning of last week, started putting it into fruition and now I’ve had the wobblies, and don’t know if I should just pack the idea in and forget about it. Story of my life. it's not a unique idea for a business (internet driven) but at least one member of my family has made me think that it has readily identifiable unsavoury undertones.
Okay, well seeing as you asked ... i was thinking of starting an online adult toy website ... (cue for snarky, cheesy, smutty comments) ... i've sourced a reputable, reliable supplier in South Africa and the products are state of the art, high quality thingies; i have several new ideas that aren't being done on other sites offering these products and thought i stood a chance at starting something unique.
But now, after what my son said to me yesterday evening, i'm having second thoughts and wondering if i should just pack it all in. he seems to be concerned that it will somehow get out to his bosses that his mum owns a sex toy website and ergo, he will get fired. how he even drew that conclusion is beyond me.
I let people put me off things, I take opinions too much to heart – maybe this is a side effect of being a Libran, constantly weighing shit up, balancing this and that … in the end, nothing gets done and the whole concept/idea/fantasy loses momentum and peters out into nothing. I am trying really hard to stay positive, to keep telling myself that I’m onto a good thing with my idea, that I will end up making myself a really decent living by it and not be reliant on immigration for the rest of my days on this planet and then the niggling doubts come into the equation and I’m back to worrying, over-analysing and looking for an out. Am i? is that what I’m doing all the time? am I my own worst enemy? How to get around that? You can’t. self-help books/courses don’t work, they are a lie, designed to appeal to fucktards like me who can’t get their act together.
I am saying to myself tonight that I will try. That’s all I can do. If it doesn’t work, then tough but at least, just this ONCE I will have seen an idea through from light bulb to concrete action and results.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
Wasn’t interested in email, doing work, speaking to people – kept feeling an overwhelming urge to throw something at the wall. My aunt called from the UK and even though it was fun speaking to her and we had a good laugh, I felt empty when I put the phone down.
Seemed like I was in some eerie Matrix today – like I wasn’t really in the world, on the edge, looking in and I didn’t like what I was seeing about my situation, so that made me even more fed up and angry.
Life is complicated, when it should be simple.
Life is strange when it should be comfortable.
I am financially secure, have a job, personal possessions, everything I need to keep me amused and busy but then I hear you and I realise that I miss having someone to love, someone exciting, brilliant and genius filling up my concrete still life. Someone adult. Someone complicated, gifted, strange, beautiful and animal.
Little by little by hook or by crook
never in earnest, never get judged
... i don't know where it is i should look
it's like when i first discovered the best of Leo Kottke, the chord sequences are so pure, so clear, they actually hurt. Maybe I need to listen to someone else for a couple of months.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
my daughter and I were out shopping today at Eastgate and the phone rings (our security gate personnel fone us whenever we have visitors, cos we live in a moated garrisoned fortified castle ... well might as well be) ...
Yeah, well some fucktard client had decided to come past to drop off his documents. 11am on a Sunday morning. Jesus H Fried Chicken. I could spit.
I was supposed to do so much today but ended up fiddling around with electronics and getting my fone sorted out. And i bought new headphones. If there is one piece of advice that i'd like to be remembered for it is this - when it comes to listening to music, make sure to treat yourself to a pair of REALLY GOOD headphones at least once a year and really good doesn't translate to rip off Skullcandys.
the famdamily are going away in April - camping for over 10 days, i know i will miss them the minute they pull out the drive but i am so looking forward to some peace and quiet - being able to bring all the paint downstairs, fiddle about with new canvasses (i've got a lot of blank ones stacked up in my storage room downstairs) - many ideas, lots of things bursting to come out, so i am really excited about having this time to myself. I will be able to play my music loud, jump on the couches, get drunk, watch porn, sleep late ... usual shit.
"While the cat is away, do what we want ...."
Did I forget? Thanks Thom.
I bent the credit card - well i had to, didn't i?
Maybe too early
But Oh thank you Thom, Thank You again
i'm almost afraid to listen to more than two tracks at a time, in case it descends into crapdom.
So far so amazing, so good.
Friday, March 4, 2011
like it's been dragged through someone's back garage, under a bus and chucked over a fence.
Please people, don't ever make the mistake of signing up with intec college.
Thursday, March 3, 2011
"oh nanna ... please put the picture of the queen of the fairies on the internet so i can see the pretty flashing lights"
not my fault.
Anyhoo ... i've moved mrs fairy to below (she's a bit loud for my sidebar)
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
TRENT REZNOR !!!!! you dog
I was PRAYING that he would strip off his tux and start stomping out 'I wanna fuck you like an animal' to all the assembled perfectly-manicured mealie-mouthed media-whore celebs ... but nope, didnay happen.
whodathunkit? he's turned into his dad.
i ended up doing a bit of co-consulting with my daughter for a client who arrived just as i made my grand entrance from upstairs ... during the course of the appointment, i alternated between sweating hog syndrome, dizzy gillespie wobblies, shaking stevens and dribbling idiot stream of consciousness blathering ... he didn't seem to notice most of the time (unless he was just being polite).
I got antibiotics for this cough thing (only one day for three days mind you) and these things are seriously gude drugs. I've been tripping most of today. Also got some pretty nice pain tablets and anti-allergy pillickies (maybe it's a combination of all of the drugs together).
anyway, i'm trying to come back down to earth (although why, i have no idea)
Friday, February 25, 2011
when we close up shop for the night, the interleading door is closed, all outside office doors are locked, lights switched off, 'puters put to sleep etc. etc. we work long hours, we work on saturdays, as well as occasional evenings going to see clients who can't be arsed to take off a couple of hours to make an appointment during business hours (even though the decision they make after consulting with us, will affect their lives and the futures of their children's children).
unfortunately, people (i.e. joe soap the general public) don't seem to recognise that we are entitled to some time off. they seem to believe that we are at their beck and call 24 hours a day.
cut to this evening ... i'm lying in bed suffering from cold, sore throat, runny nose etc. etc. and the lady of the house has the same ailments. All we want at the moment, is some peace, to recover, recharge our batteries and have a fucking break goddamit.
but no .... phone rings at 4.30pm (we close at 4pm on Fridays and our business phone is in the office, not in the main part of the house), again at 5.15 and 7.10pm ... so we decide to answer, in case it is an emergency.
the tosser has phoned all these times just to talk about a form he is filling in and that he's booked his English test (for the third time because he's too full of himself to shut the fuck up, pay attention and do the test properly - so he keeps failing). "is this an inconvenient time?" he asks sweetly. we have to bite back the expletives .... what a turd.
had to get that off my chest.
other than that, i'm fine.
cough, hack, wheeze, sniff, choke, sweat
i need a night nurse.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Lotus Flower and the attendant quirky video (featuring an elastic limbed Thom, jittering about like a monkey on acid) is such a brilliant toon, can't hear it enough.
Oh well i guess 6 quid isn't so bad for a digital downloadfest ...
in other news, i finished another painting (seem to be on a roll), am also getting more confident and managing to restrain the urge to overwork my pieces. That said, there is a large canvas in my bathroom that i started two years ago and am so tempted to fiddle about with (cos i think it's boring). EVERYONE (i.e assorted members of family, children and little animals) tell me to leave it alone, i'll fuck it up if i start working on it again .. but i have such a strong urge to add shit to it and change lines, add depth, texture ... hmmm.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
what is it with people?
i've had a cyber presence on the intertubes (thanks Kyk, i seriously dig that term) since about 2002 It might have been earlier, can't exactly remember when i first Googled stuff - and nobody knew then, what Google was ... (so i was considered something of a boffin back then). I have so many net accounts, i need my own personal library system just to store all the usernames/ passwords etc. i DON'T ... repeat DON'T need anymore memberships or invites to labyrinthine forums. I have enough 'net friends, thanks very much. So i DECLINE your invitations.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Even though i don't think much to John Legend and believe he's completely over-hyped, i do believe that his cover of the below Bono classic, is possibly the best i've ever heard.
Friday, February 4, 2011
if i break the situation down into byte sized chunks, maybe it will make it easier to swallow / make sense:
1. my daughter is schizophrenic, is on serious medication and has been for over four years (can't remember exactly when she had the first psychotic episode). Despite this illness, she is coping really well and holding down a good job. She socialises well and to all intents and purposes functions perfectly fine.
2. until she has a relapse. which she did last year on a trip to Hermanus with her intended fiance.
3. she has had some absolutely awesome boyfriends in the past - some of them were really good to her and gorgeous men in their own right.
4. the fiance to be - well what can i say that's good about him? nothing.
he has no personality - zilch, nada, nix
looks at everyone with a sly sideways cringing glance
creeps about the place like one of the living dead, is stick thin and not
has systematically lied to all of us (including my daughter) for
over two years about his so-called 'jobs' ... he has not been
in a genuine lasting job for most of this time (if not longer)
was supposed to be doing a computer course for the better part of 2008 and
2009 (A+). He wrote the tests four times - each time his mother paid
for him to rewrite (and this wasn't cheap). He still has not passed
the course. He doesn't have matric.
he relies on his father (who lives in Witbank) and his mother (who
lives the life of the rich and famous in Hermanus) to bail him out
every couple of weeks with money. they are constantly throwing cash
at him. His mother even bought him his own flat (which is the only
thing that he's got in his favour at the moment) I've met his
mother and stepfather (when they came up to Gauteng to look for a
flat to buy him) ... they are super wealthy people and major
socialites. They have personal homes all over the world and cash
is not a problem but they don't seem to have done much to make sure
that their adopted son gets a good education and make sure he can
provide for himself in the future.
yes, he is an adopted son. we do not know who his biological parents are.
he suffers from epilepsy - not such a problem, many successful people have it
(Jonty Rhodes, for example)- but in his case, it's not a positive
absolutely everyone who comes into contact with him, can not understand
what my daughter is doing with him - he's a social misfit and reject
my sons want to punch his face in every time they see him.
my daughter knows exactly how i feel about him (per above) - we've told her these things over and over and every now and then she agrees with us and leaves him, to go and stay with one of her brothers. But he doesn't leave her alone, cries and wails when she leaves him, smashes his head against the wall and threatens to kill himself, so she goes back to him.
i do not see any happy future for her with this chap at all - all i see is years of misery, debt and mental problems. he is no good for her emotionally, spiritually or physically - by her own admission, he has erectile dysfunction and she has to force him to have sex with her, he never initiates the process and for a chap his age (he's over 27) this is not natural.
I could go on, there's tons more but this lot is enough to be getting on with.
What am i to do?
I can not find it in myself to rustle up any enthusiasm whatsoever for this intended union - it just makes me feel sick to my stomach. I've been ill, in fact, most of this week with dread thinking about the upcoming meeting that the intended fiance keeps hinting will happen - i.e. the one where he is going to ask if he can marry my daughter.
Nobody will want to attend the wedding (from her side of the family) and if they do, it will not be for his benefit and when the time comes for the priest to ask if anyone of the congregation gathered here today has any reason why these two shouldn't be joined in holy matrimony' ... my entire family will stand up and shout out in unison that
"YES WE DO!"
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
i don't know why i would want to really ... other than that i am starting to feel like this is something i should have tried really hard at making a success out of a few years ago and didn't.
the problem is, men can't really survive without sex.
and i have a very Shirley Valentine approach to all that - i.e. it's a lot of pushing and shoving and you end up with very little in return.
Also, i've got hang ups. (as we all have)
yet, the thought of stripping down to my undies for a strange bloke (i.e. someone who hasn't fathered my grown up children), gives me the willies.
talked myself out of that very nicely hey?
Sunday, January 30, 2011
two days aint enough, specially when minions like myself have to wurk on saturday morning, then spend most of the rest of saturday at the Vet - sorting out kitty that was neutered the day before and ended up sucking his tongue so badly (from stress) he got an ulcer and looked like Pet Cemetery cat the next morning, complete with yellow drool hanging in strings from the side of his mouth (yuck, yuck and upchuck)
rest of saturday afternoon at doctors with grandson, who has developed the weirdest red rash all over his body (except bottom and face) ... nobody knows what it is, so he's going to the paediatrician next week. oh and saturday was the daughter's birthday.
sunday spent cleaning, trying to fix the dishwasher that decided it had had enough of our dirty pots and pans - anyhow, husband of the house managed to find the problem and sort it out, thank god for that - it is an undisputable fact that the dishwasher is the greatest invention of all time.
come sunday afternoon and i actually found some time to paint, clean out the 'puter, do some studying - yep, i'm now a 'student'.
on the studying thing.
paid for the course in full on October 15th last year - only received study material for the course on Monday last week, after i threatened the college with lawyers et al. I ended up putting a complaint on Hello Peter.com and what do you know? next day, the material arrives by Fedex. Now they are emailing and sms'ing me every fifteen seconds (well it seems like it). From the sublime to the ridiculous.
i'm not doing anything fancy, (i.e. don't get all excited and think i started a degree) - it's a none-course in pattern cutting and design, something i've wanted to know more about for a long time. The college has graciously given me until 2013 to finish it (christ, i'm not THAT retarded!)
*cos it's almost 1015 on a Sunday night.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
you say that you are surprised that i still get surprised by the connection ... well of course i do. i can't remember what life was like before i found such a friend as you, i can't comprehend most times how fortunate i am. i am safe with you, you are like my own private refuge away from the insanity (or there with me in it). there are times when i don't think about you consciously at the front of my mind but you are always there, the essence of your personality, your voice, and what you would do in this or that situation? no excuses, no need to explain, no need to justify or elaborate, you just know
thank you again, for being my friend. here's to another year of madness.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Anyhow we'll see how our plans go- got a lot to do in the next few months. Having another planning meeting on Monday night.
One of my homies popped past for a look see this afternoon (isn't he pretty!) ...
I told him to come back in 2024 - not ready to leave Earth just yet.
Friday, January 14, 2011
i was mesmerised by this song (well, the whole damn cd) when i first heard it and it still gives me supernatural chills
"are there more like me ....?
... there's just got to be"
Have a load of mixed emotions this evening - things are not going as full-steam ahead with the UK migration plans as I was expecting and i am getting the distinct impression that the mistress of our household has got cold-feet. She suggested today that I go on ahead of them - get myself a job, find a place to stay and they will join me when they can get around to it. Rather goes against the grain of the whole concept really and pointless, as far as I am concerned. Anyway, we are supposed to be having our 'meeting' this weekend to discuss all angles and scenarios, so i'll try to keep optimistic.
Thursday, January 13, 2011
Went into Hereford on one trip, then to Shrewsbury on the train (lordy, lordy a TRAIN … and I didn’t get mugged, raped or worse).
Spent the day browsing around the book shops in Hay-on-Wye – reputedly the largest second hand bookshop in the world is situated in this town (in the castle) – I didn’t get into that one though. Ended up in a pub/restaurant called The Three Tuns (here’s the website) – which has been renovated after a fire they had there in 2005. Going up the cramped, solid ancient dog-leg stairs to the loos I was dumbfounded/disturbed and thrilled by the age of the place, I could feel the ghosts of highwaymen swirling all around me, resonating through the wood as I touched the posts to go up the stairs … creepy and sublime
Some photies ...
The Town Crier lives just up the road from my aunt's place:
They do get sun occasionally in Wales ... this taken just outside a tiny little hamlet called "Knucklas" which nestles beneath an ancient Viaduct.
Every sign in Wales is bilingual ... SA doesn't have the total monopoly on that!
A selection of "Black & Whites" in Shrewsbury and Knighton:
Another bit of Ye Olde in Shrewsbury
Snow - got lots of this :