Thursday, March 31, 2011

sum of all its parts

part the first

yes, so i am getting there slowly but surely. got Hosting sorted out, we begin work on the actual architecture this weekend. Not got logo yet but it's in the stewing pot and shouldn't take much longer. going into bank/s* to rob them on saturday ... cos i do need to get me a business account, I suppose. i used to think that stuff was lank boring but it isn't ... it's exciting, it means that i am quite serious about actually trying to make some munny.

checking out the naughty bits

holy crap, i got the catalogues on Wednesday ... i've gone purple. the place where i'm getting my 'stock' from is based in South Africa but their head office/factory is in Germany ... the catalogue is about five hundred pages thick, is heavier than a bible and has over 7000 products in it. some of the stuff would make a sailor blush.


so there i was all getting excited for delivery of my brand new notebook that was supposed to happen tomorrow ... only to find out that they aint got stock. then the chap emails me and says "we can't get the red one but they've got pienk ... would you like a pienk laptop?"

(he's Afrikaans is my salesman, so has a cute way of spelling things)

Fuck the EFF OFF !

My reply went something like - "
Do I look like a PINK person to you? If you bring me a PINK 'puter, I will smash you over the head with it."

He does have a sense of humour does my IT salesman but for effs sake, i'm quite pissed off actually. Why make me go through all the rigmarole of opening an account, take my money and then tell me you haven't got stock and erm ... won't be ordering that particular model anymore because it's been superceded with another range (of course, more expensive). Now I have to wait while he gets a few more for me to see and emails me the specs etc. etc. .... quite irritating. So i won't be playing with a brand new toy over this weekend and i was so looking forward to that.


my eldest g-child (who is six in May) had her first concert today and all the 'old folks' were invited. it was very sweet, i'm so proud of her.
babysitting little man on sat'day night - cos mom, dad and eldest g-child are going to some birthday party for one of their ex-biker friends. I have decided that i am going to get him an Optimus Prime Transformer or some such mega-toy and we are going to play with it, make a lot of noise, eat junk food, watch movies, drink beer, jump on the bed ... the usual stuff you do with 20 month old toddlers.

seven (were you honestly counting?!)

can't see myself getting any leave this year, which is making me a bit depressed. i'm very tired and really would like a week or so to myself and it looks like that is how i will be spending holidays in future. what with school and holidays and the man and woman of the house having to tailor holidays to suit school holidays. we can't all go away at the same time, what with the business/es etc. The lady and man of the house, with children, are going away towards the end of April for almost two weeks (camping at the coast) and yours truly has the place to herself. it will be fun for one or two days but then it will be crap, cos i always miss them when they are not here. i'm supposed to have gone down to Hermanus already to scatter my mum's ashes in the sea ... stupid. won't be doing that any time soon and don't want to go near Hermanus for a very long time, if ever at all but i wouldn't mind going down to Cape Town. I miss you, you know. Yes, you.


I'm still madly in love with this Radiohead thingie - i know this band is not everyone's cup of tea. i just think their music is so technically brilliant, smooth, liquid and complex. why they stopped at 8 tracks is beyond me.

*just thought i'd put that in to see if anyone's awake or actually reading this piffle on a regular basis.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

abstract watercolours

All on Artist quality watercolour paper/support
Mixed media - watercolour, chalk, tube glue and acrylic

Friday, March 25, 2011

Thursday, March 24, 2011

my new interweb baby is almost ready to be born

well this week has been very productive, despite the initial hiccups with the domain shite. got that done. i am now the proud owner of www. ........ - can't show any of you's yet until it's live. Managed to get most of the hosting sorted out and the e-commerce stuff, so i'm almost a for away. got my account set up with my supplier. got CC registration. sorted out a new laptop.
i'm quite the businesswoman when i get started.

see you

Monday, March 21, 2011

what's in a (domain) name?

Geez, there was i thinking this little exercise would be a piece of piss/cake ... should be finished in a couple of hours. ha!

try two full days trawling the web, random name search engines, dictionaries, thesauruses (is there such a word? who cares), phrase books, Histories of the Norse language, Yorkshire dialect lists, Medieval archives and Latin to English translators .... did you know that SONY got it's name from Sonus? No, i bet you didn't ... cough. Anyway, i digress. Can't find a bloody suitable name YET for my new website - the name has to come first you see (hah, there's a pun if ever there was one).

i might have a competition - to see if one of my illustrious reader/s can come up with a suitable name that i can buy as BOTH a dotcom and a dotcoza (cos i'm a greedy sonofabitch) ... prize will be a weekend away*#

I have found many names for websites, some quite good and to the point (classy and elegant, not sleazy). But it's like trying to find a pudding in a palace, cos of all the domain-name pirates there are out there ... you find a perfect name, do a search and it's taken but you can have it for $4999 ... yawn. I've gotten really tired of this exercise today. I found a great website called Bustaname and thought my problems were solved ... it's a really execellent website ... if you are looking for obscure computer generated really crap domain names that nobody on earth would actually want to buy ... argh.

*who knows where
# or not

Friday, March 18, 2011

layout change and family stuff ... yawn.

decided to revert back to black, got a bit sick of the green grass, dandelion seeds fluffing about in the breeze and general, hop-skippity-bump of the last template. I'm too lazy, as well, to compose a design on my own to put up here.

meeting with my 'web developer' tomorrow for lunch, so hope i can get all the stuff sorted out for the new site, or at least start working on the basic framework/architecture.

the light of my life is a bit sicky poo at the moment - literally. he stands and projectile vomits wherever he wants to (has some kind of post-nasal drip that sits there waiting to be upchucked come light of day ... luverly) ... we kept him at home today, which i find is something quite wonderful and a special treat - bugger work - i would rather spend all day playing with him than working anytime. he's two in July, can't believe how the time has whizzed past. His sister is 6 in May, that's even scarier (and so is she). what is it with 5 1/2 year olds? once they start school, it's over - you can forget having any influence at all in their lives. we actually don't know zilch. at least today, she came home in a good frame of mind and actually said hello to everyone, like she meant it. makes a change. god knows what she will be like when she's 16. Mercifully i probably won't be alive then.

i had a few things to say tonight but have ended up diarising. never mind.
my second daughter is going to get engaged soon - the ring is almost ready (she was given a stone by a friend of her husband-to-be and has had it set in her own design). Of course, the husband-to-be hasn't actually asked for permission to marry her yet ... that's looming on the horizon. i hope to be out of the country on holiday somewhere exotic when that happens, so i can't be held responsible. I guess i have to just face up to the fact that she IS going to marry this jerk, no matter what any of her brothers/sisters/parents/friends/cousins/uncles/aunts and grand-parents think. Oi vey.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

balancing acts

Everything seems to be in a state of flux in my world ... all the time.

I used to have definable passions and interests that drove me to do all sorts of crazy, successful magic things but now, I feel like I’m in a pinball machine smacking about from one obstacle to another, not really sure where I’m going, what the purpose is, other than I will eventually roll down the black hole into nothingness. Great. It’s being so enthusiastic that keeps us going.

I had what I thought was a really good idea at the beginning of last week, started putting it into fruition and now I’ve had the wobblies, and don’t know if I should just pack the idea in and forget about it. Story of my life. it's not a unique idea for a business (internet driven) but at least one member of my family has made me think that it has readily identifiable unsavoury undertones.

Okay, well seeing as you asked ... i was thinking of starting an online adult toy website ... (cue for snarky, cheesy, smutty comments) ... i've sourced a reputable, reliable supplier in South Africa and the products are state of the art, high quality thingies; i have several new ideas that aren't being done on other sites offering these products and thought i stood a chance at starting something unique.

But now, after what my son said to me yesterday evening, i'm having second thoughts and wondering if i should just pack it all in. he seems to be concerned that it will somehow get out to his bosses that his mum owns a sex toy website and ergo, he will get fired. how he even drew that conclusion is beyond me.

I let people put me off things, I take opinions too much to heart – maybe this is a side effect of being a Libran, constantly weighing shit up, balancing this and that … in the end, nothing gets done and the whole concept/idea/fantasy loses momentum and peters out into nothing. I am trying really hard to stay positive, to keep telling myself that I’m onto a good thing with my idea, that I will end up making myself a really decent living by it and not be reliant on immigration for the rest of my days on this planet and then the niggling doubts come into the equation and I’m back to worrying, over-analysing and looking for an out. Am i? is that what I’m doing all the time? am I my own worst enemy? How to get around that? You can’t. self-help books/courses don’t work, they are a lie, designed to appeal to fucktards like me who can’t get their act together.

I am saying to myself tonight that I will try. That’s all I can do. If it doesn’t work, then tough but at least, just this ONCE I will have seen an idea through from light bulb to concrete action and results.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Obligations, Complications ... routines and schedules …

Today I was depressed, frustrated .. just wanted to lie on my bed and listen to Thom.

Wasn’t interested in email, doing work, speaking to people – kept feeling an overwhelming urge to throw something at the wall. My aunt called from the UK and even though it was fun speaking to her and we had a good laugh, I felt empty when I put the phone down.

Seemed like I was in some eerie Matrix today – like I wasn’t really in the world, on the edge, looking in and I didn’t like what I was seeing about my situation, so that made me even more fed up and angry.

Life is complicated, when it should be simple.

Life is strange when it should be comfortable.

I am financially secure, have a job, personal possessions, everything I need to keep me amused and busy but then I hear you and I realise that I miss having someone to love, someone exciting, brilliant and genius filling up my concrete still life. Someone adult. Someone complicated, gifted, strange, beautiful and animal.

Little by little by hook or by crook
never in earnest, never get judged
... i don't know where it is i should look

it's like when i first discovered the best of Leo Kottke, the chord sequences are so pure, so clear, they actually hurt. Maybe I need to listen to someone else for a couple of months.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

you got some nerve

i'm not going to wax lyrical about Radiohead and this new thing, it's just exquisite. a masterpiece of aural architecture. best thing i've heard in a very long time - such a relief to have my brain waves thrilled again and played with by this stunning music. thank you again Thom and the team.

my daughter and I were out shopping today at Eastgate and the phone rings (our security gate personnel fone us whenever we have visitors, cos we live in a moated garrisoned fortified castle ... well might as well be) ...
Yeah, well some fucktard client had decided to come past to drop off his documents. 11am on a Sunday morning. Jesus H Fried Chicken. I could spit.

I was supposed to do so much today but ended up fiddling around with electronics and getting my fone sorted out. And i bought new headphones. If there is one piece of advice that i'd like to be remembered for it is this - when it comes to listening to music, make sure to treat yourself to a pair of REALLY GOOD headphones at least once a year and really good doesn't translate to rip off Skullcandys.

the famdamily are going away in April - camping for over 10 days, i know i will miss them the minute they pull out the drive but i am so looking forward to some peace and quiet - being able to bring all the paint downstairs, fiddle about with new canvasses (i've got a lot of blank ones stacked up in my storage room downstairs) - many ideas, lots of things bursting to come out, so i am really excited about having this time to myself. I will be able to play my music loud, jump on the couches, get drunk, watch porn, sleep late ... usual shit.

"While the cat is away, do what we want ...."

Did I forget? Thanks Thom.

it's unfurling

a cascade of glittering frequencies, all to lose myself in.

I bent the credit card - well i had to, didn't i?

Maybe too early

But Oh thank you Thom, Thank You again

i'm almost afraid to listen to more than two tracks at a time, in case it descends into crapdom.

So far so amazing, so good.

Friday, March 4, 2011

the rest of your study material has been couriered to you

and this is how it looked when DHL delivered it:

like it's been dragged through someone's back garage, under a bus and chucked over a fence.

Please people, don't ever make the mistake of signing up with intec college.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

the things we do for family

she's about four foot tall, has long strawberry blonde hair, skin like clotted cream, huge hazelnut eyes and lashes that Maybelline would die for ... (and i'm not talking about the fairy chick)

"oh nanna ... please put the picture of the queen of the fairies on the internet so i can see the pretty flashing lights"

not my fault.

Anyhoo ... i've moved mrs fairy to below (she's a bit loud for my sidebar)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

oh almost forgot

TRENT REZNOR !!!!! you dog


I was PRAYING that he would strip off his tux and start stomping out 'I wanna fuck you like an animal' to all the assembled perfectly-manicured mealie-mouthed media-whore celebs ... but nope, didnay happen.

whodathunkit? he's turned into his dad.

like shoowee man - the drugs do work

yes so i decided to try and be valiant and get out of bed this morning, doll my self up a bit (i.e. put on some plaster of paris and lipstick in a vain half-hearted attempt at the old euphemism 'powdering my nose') and go downstairs to do some wurk.

oh joy

i ended up doing a bit of co-consulting with my daughter for a client who arrived just as i made my grand entrance from upstairs ... during the course of the appointment, i alternated between sweating hog syndrome, dizzy gillespie wobblies, shaking stevens and dribbling idiot stream of consciousness blathering ... he didn't seem to notice most of the time (unless he was just being polite).

I got antibiotics for this cough thing (only one day for three days mind you) and these things are seriously gude drugs. I've been tripping most of today. Also got some pretty nice pain tablets and anti-allergy pillickies (maybe it's a combination of all of the drugs together).

anyway, i'm trying to come back down to earth (although why, i have no idea)