Sh#t my cat broke

One of our house cats is a Manx, called Merlin. He’s about 7 years old and a big old fuss pot. When he was a baby his sphincter didn’t work properly, so every evening when his mum got home from work, she had to clean all the klingons that had stuck to his bum. He drools. When you get out of the shower he expects you to massage his head with your wet foot, otherwise he’ll get mean and try to grab your naked leg with his claws. Other than that, he’s harmless, sleeps all day and most of the night and is scared of just about anything

This morning, a chap comes banging on our front door and accuses us of not controlling our cat (that looks like a Rabbit, the one with no tail) who comes into his house a lot and fights with his cats (who are very timid and never leave the house). This mean man accused our cat of pee-ing on his furniture (something Merlin never does at all, he doesn’t defecate inside a home and is well-trained and very clean). Then this horrible man said that Merlin had knocked over his lamp and broken it in the middle of the night. How this twit could have made that assumption is beyond us, he didn’t actually witness it ... anyhoo, half an hour later, we discover that the strange bloke up the road has gone and dumped the broken lamp outside our front door. God knows why - maybe he thinks Merlin is going to replace it with next months' pocket money.

Anyhoo, here's an out of focus picture of Merlin (because he was so incensed at being referred to as a Bunny that he wouldn't sit still) and the ugly horrible lamp (can't see why anyone would get upset about it being broken, I personally think Merlin did the twat a favour).