Wednesday, May 30, 2012

life in the fast lane


There i was getting ‘into’ my writing persona again, doing hand-written little dribblings each night in preparation for ‘DA BOOK’ ... sweating and straining, agonising over sentence structure and who my heroine/hero is going to be, where the story is set, when the story is set, how to build tension, how to start with tension, where to start, where to end, what happens in the end ... blah blah ... really concentrating on this whole thing I was, getting my writerly mojo back, promising myself that this is it, confidence starting to return, actually getting pages written ... 
then today, i get asked to do go back into transcribing, do a test and now looks like i’m going to be spending countless late-night hours typing transcripts for some person on the other side of Gauteng.   Is this some karmic message?  Was i not paying attention properly.

Then there’s the Blokes  thing.   Really getting on my nerves, to be honest.   There are some exceptionally nice guys out there but i don’t want nice, i want Scott Owen or Gennaro Connors

Monday, May 21, 2012

finding blokes

hey, so i ended up putting an 'honest' profile up on a dating website for elderly folks (like myself ... cough) ... serious.  I put my REAL age on there and a REAL photo (i.e. non-photoshopped and taken with the webcam, so it's like current) ... but check this out, i cant keep up with all the chaps who are winking, or messaging me !

whodathunkit?

where have all these guys been for the last fifteen years of my life?

Well, anyhow, once they get to read this blog (cos I posted a link yesterday), I doubt I will hear from any of them ever again; cos like i cuss a lot and say stuff that most people don't actually ever understand (other than certain people in the US of A and one in Cape Town).

   

Friday, May 18, 2012

can we pray that facebook et al will collapse?

i so totally agree with the comments by FACKFACE on this article (FACEBOOK'S WORST NIGHTMARE: After GM, Here's How The Other Dominoes Could Fall).     I also do not get Facebook, never have, never will ...
I'm also sick and tired up to here of all the 'trendies' with their Blackberry phones, snobby BBMs and the RUDENESS of cellphone users these days, as their Blackberries ping away all day long - even when you are trying to hold a normal face-to-face interaction. 
Just go to your local favourite restaurant and watch as people sit opposite each other, heads down, thumbs dashing about, sending messages into cyberspace, totally ignoring their partner.  And this is called SOCIAL INTERFACING!
Meantime, they could be having a perfectly good, normal, SOCIAL conversation, in the flesh, with the person sitting with them.   

Thursday, May 17, 2012

when does a name become a trademark?©

i did some random searches on the googometer yesterday and included one for "Life As A Carrot", as one is opt to do. .
There are other people who are on twitter and on facebook with my name (the whole string). For some reason this pissed me off.
I came up with the title for this blog and by extension © internet persona.   There were no other carrots around when i started this blog - other than websites devoted to cultivating or cooking the orange veggie.   I believed at one point that the concept behind the title "life as a carrot" was quite important to me, it meant to imply that i did not see myself as having any import in the greater cosmological sense, and more particularly in the blogosphere.  I felt that in using such a moniker, i would not slip into the trap of becoming a sanctimonious know-it-all blogger with no sense of humour.   Jury's out on that.
Yesterday I stumbled on  this
wonder if i should charge royalties?

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

is blogging becoming extinct?

when i started doing this stuff back in god knows when (round about 2003 I think, could have been earlier, can't remember) ... everyone was trying to get onto the band wagon.  some blogs were really good and continued for years (Mr. Kyknoord's being a case in point), others were just as good but went into stasis ... now there are people with websites, TEACHING  people how to blog CORRECTLY  ... wha?

I don't remember this shit being around when we started blogging .... there were no regulations, no parameters, guidelines, protocols ... for christ's sake, a blog is supposed to be a personal take on life; a digital diary..   the original aim of setting up blogging interfaces was not to MAKE MONEY out of your daily missives.
now that's all people are concerned with.   Adsense, Adwords, affiliate advertising programes  ... Ad Ad Ad ... fucking advertising, fuck off.

and what's with Facebook?
Why is this shitty interface so popular with 99% of internet savvy persons?  I don't get it at all. I absolutley hate Facebook, to me it's just a fashion-trendy, shittily designed, clunky application with no merits at all.
Twitter - even though I use it, i hate it. It's so compartmentalised and restrictive.
Can't wait for the internet to implode on itself, then we can go back to pen and paper. 

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

downsizing ... the new up

well from Sunday night, I will be 100% on my own in this ere migration business. All the other staff have left the coop, leaving poor old* me to 'man the fort' and continue waging war on unsuspecting (yet deserving) clients. oh i'm so looking forward to Monday morning (no-o-o-t)

otherwise not much else is happening. thought we had a buyer for the house last week but turns out we don't. just sent a long missive to all the estate agents in our area who are supposed to be 'marketing' our property, basically telling them all to go fuck themselves where the sun don't shine. and they have the gall to reply 'could we have a show day this saturday?' ... estate agents are plankton and thick as pigshit.

speaking of pigshit, my brother is going to go and live in Kethely, HUNGARY in this


... not kidding
he just went and paid  £18,000 for the honour of owning this hovel/barn and a house that's probably nearly 100 years old (although not something that the National Heritage department would be interested in declaring a protected monument or anything) with a well for drinking water ...



i hope he's happy.  i know he will be.
to be honest, i wouldn't mind spending my 'end of days'* lounging about in a caravan/motor-home next to the ocean/lake/river (any bit of water, not fussy). 

I am supposed to be coming up with a short story about YELLOW .... i haven't gotten past doodlings on one page and scattered remnants of thought about daffodils.   my writing days are obviously kaput.

On the topic of kaput ... i watched this video on my son's ultra huge 3-D HD television on Sunday night, it made me cry.



i do so love this song, even with the startlingly horrid visuals.

Friday, May 11, 2012

Romeo ...

yeah I used to have a scene with him ..."*


May 10th. Yesterday
PissAnts
Taurus
Linoleum
Why do I still remember this day EVERY year, since nineteen fucking ninety eight?
When am I going to forget this day, or it's significance
Seattle
Skinfuck
Belvedere Vodka
Tweaker
Suicide
Cold
Over
Stupid Girl


*Thank you Mark Knopfler for that bit of lyric there

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Open post(al) to Mr Izzard

Eddie
Darling

I MISSED the last South African gig, cos your 'notify fans of forthcoming gigs' application didn't work and refused to tell me (in advance) that you were coming to Joburg, so i was not part of it, i didn't pitch up ... i bloody well missed the whole effing thing, didn't i?
Good job you weren't in the car when the glib radio DJ announced in a sing-a-long voice that 'tickets were all sold out' ... like he was happy about that or something. I did go postal. Very.
Now I see that you are taking Force Majeure to Denmark, Finland, Sweden, Norway, Switzerland, UK and Eire ... all the cold wet dismal places on earth ... so why not come along back here to SA for some sunshine?
Well i tried.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Happy Mooning

nope nothing


it's 1st May. MAY. Like almost half way through this year. Saturday we will have the undiluted pleasure of witnessing the largeest full moon of the year ... good for conducting spells and what not. Serious
Look here (must be true, it comes from 'net)

SPELL TO OBTAIN MONEY

Done During the Full Moon
Fill your cauldron half full of water and drop a silver coin into it.
Position the cauldron so that the light from the moon shines into the water.
Gently sweep your hands just above the surface, symbolically gathering the Moon's silver.
While doing this say:
Lovely Lady of the Moon, bring to me your
wealth right soon. Fill my hands with silver and gold.
All you give, my purse can hold."
Repeat this three times. When finished, pour the water upon the earth.


Good luck

PLEASE tell me who you are over there in Mountain View, California ?