Funny, in a not really funny way, a client of ours said that we should sell up and get out of this area as fast as we could because it was toxic and slowly poisoning all its inhabitants - due to the crap that AECI pumped into the ground a few years back. I am beginning to think that there might be some vestiges of truth in that ... but am too scared to actually do any kind of asking about, or investigating in case our client was right. Then what? We definitely won't sell our house if that's the case! Anyway on that subject, we've decided to take the house off the market for the time being and put it back on again in the Spring - no use bashing a dead horse. We all believe it's been on the market for too long and is stale. Right annoying but what can you do?
I am making plans to self-publish a little story written by my grand-daughter over the last school holidays when she was visiting her other granny - complete with her own illustrations. She managed to put together a perfectly serviceable, coherent story in 8 pages with beginning, middle and end - so i think she needs a bit of encouragement. So far the quotes have been a bit mad - although one did mention that the book would be marketed to Amazon, Kalahari.Net, Exclusive Books ... to begin with. They would also provide me with a digital e-book and five hardcopy perfect bound full colour printed books - all i had to do was send them some examples of my grand-daughter's art work and the typed out story and they'd do all the rest - of course i would have all the proof reading control and rights. There was a whole load of other shit they threw in as well - including professional help with marketing ... etc. etc. all for the princely sum of R13,900 - much less than I thought it would be but still quite a lot.
Anyway I am waiting for another local crew to come back to me with a more simplified lower budget plan, as the aim is not to get it into the shops and turn my grand-daughter into the next Christopher Paolini, it is just to give her encouragement and have something to brag about to her friends at school. And to show her stupid moron of a teacher that my grand-daughter does NOT have ADD or need medication because she 'wriggles' in class and talks a lot. Fuck off.
The dating website thing ... oh what have i got myself into?
I have made contact with a couple of chaps, both very interesting and dynamically opposed - there are actually over ten others that are perfectly good prospects as well ... but i haven't got the time.
One of the chaps (the first one I contacted) is a semi-retired millionaire (by the sound of it), wanting to buy a wine estate in the Western Cape but to have a new wife in tow before he does that and all this BEFORE Winter starts ... well i think his timeframes are a bit up to cock ... makes me nervous that a person is so focused on getting his life sorted out quite so perfectly, in such a small amount of time ... my alarm bells start ringing, something amiss here I think.
I have spoken to him on the phone briefly and it was pleasant ... i cut the conversation short because i was, after all, lying on my death bed at the time and could barely manage to say one sentence without hacking myself into a fit of phlegm. He said he'd email me. He didn't. He hasn't phoned again. Well to be honest, I did tell him that I would phone HIM when i was better, which i'm not ready to do yet anyway but still i feel a bit peeved and like he was having me on. He said he owns a lot of horses and one died a couple of weeks ago - i didn't commiserate on that, maybe that's upset him? He said also that he owns a Hunting Safari company that is based on the Zambezi River but funny thing is if i Google it, nothing comes up... so i don't know what to make of that. maybe nothing. but i'm suspicious. First thing i try to check out, doesn't ... so is that strike One or what? He has a daughter in Australia and his son manages part of his hunting safari business in the States. He says he travels regularly between the US, Spain (for the horses) and South Africa ... he was major keen on me, for some reason I can't fathom at all.
Next chap is an artist, based in the Western Cape (in Bloubergstrand) - mixture of German and Scottish ancestry and you can tell in the way he strings together an English sentence, quite charming. He sounds like a lovely chap, warm, funny, normal, sensuous, loving and a bit lonely but not desperate (also a widower - so is the other chap). I asked to see some of his art - and he's sent me photos of a few pieces - i was a bit disappointed because i thought he might have his own website, maybe he can't be bothered with all that - he does come across as a bit of a bohemian type of soul and I think i would get on well with him. He does a bit of scuba diving and has skied ... like i can do that shit ... huh ... well i DID ski once upon a fairy tale back in the dark ages ...
I would like to get to know him but i don't know what i'm doing this for?
I get 5 to 8 messages a day from new chaps on this website that i joined and some of the guys are really very nice ... i just don't know ... it's not me ... this is not me ... is it? Do i really want this? What am I looking for?
Am I selfish little shit? Is it wrong to want a companion, a MAN who can have my back, someone who will give me good advice without lecturing me, someone who will make me laugh and go with me to crazy places or just sit around reading and not having to chat at all (that's when you know you are in a perfect relationship by the way)?
But men come with so much baggage (so do women, dumb shit, look at you) ... and they WANT stuff. They want you to be nice and ladylike and be a good little woman and shut up, whilst they have their say (even if it means your teeth are gnashing at every word they are saying), they want you to keep the house tidy, they want you to help them with all the stuff they can't figure out themselves ... they want to take control of your life and tell you how to do this, where to put that, when to touch that, when not to touch that, where to put your money, what clothes to wear, what food to eat, what music to listen to ... what to think ... what not to think ... oh christ, i've managed to put myself off the whole thing in one paragraph!
But is it really like that?
Is it time i just shut the fuck up and went with the flow, just to see what happened? Lived a bit. Is that wrong? Am I being selfish to want someone in my life? Someone like this for instance?
|the delicious Rory McCann aka Sandor Clegane|
Hey look i've never been one for aiming LOW .. and he is all of 6'4 and a bit ... PLUS he's Scottish. Oh good lord. Even with his scar on, i'd climb him like a tree (as one er ... lady put it recently ... on the internet) But for the most part, i don't get chaps talking to me like this one ...