Thursday, September 19, 2013

Why am I such a lazy old biyatch?

I’m battling inertia again.  Now that the kiddies are at school almost full day (well up until 3pm most days), I have a lot of time on my hands and things aren’t panning out the way I was thinking they would.  I guess I’m going through a period of adjustment, or I’m just a lazy old cow but whatever is going on, I’m not happy with it.  I can’t seem to get myself into gear to do much at all – and I have so many things to do!

I  keep telling myself that I’m a selfish, spoilt brat and why the fuck am I whining, millions of people would cut out their eye out with a spoon for a chance to be able to ‘work at home’ and potter about doing their other side projects whenever they pleased.

Why do I feel so guilty?
Why can’t I get stuff done?

I made all these plans to do transript work on X,Y, Z days, writing on W days, Paintings on P days … and so on and so on … and so far this week :

1. Monday I seemed to do nothing except wait around for transcript audios that never came; stare at kiddies empty rooms; fold up kiddies clothes (twice).  Then got all energetic and actually did some research into the structure of my blog-to-book that I've started about schizophrenia.  Wrote lots of shite down in the car whilst waiting outside school for kiddies to finish.

2. Tuesday – farted about tidying up, doing washing, fixing a lot of South African business cock ups (that, to be fair, actually took most of the day). Tried in vain to get some work out of the transcript company but it looks like that's dried up at the moment. Got depressed about that, so coloured my hair natural honey blonde).  Posted letter to my Aunt in Wales, bought Digestive biscuits (big mistake). Sat in car again for ten minutes waiting for one of the kiddies to finish her activities, took other kiddy to toilet at school, came home, stopped wars.  Wnt to library with kiddies - exchanged gazillion books, read stories, did more washing, didn't make dinner cos I ran out of momentum.

3. Wednesday got off my arse, after doing a bit of ‘writing’ (cough) on my blog-to-book, as well as some research.  Did some painting- actually er I finished a painting (of sorts) and worked on another one.  Spent the afternoon at school supporting other child doing martial arts for the first time. Came home, caught up on more SA business work, cleaned up a bit, read stories, made dinner.

4.  Today, spent the whole of the morning, sorting out SA business stuff and couriers. Tidied up kitchen and stared at this bloody laptop. Had two cups of coffee and six Digestive biscuits.

I started the blog-to-book on Blogger but everytime I log out of my current profile and into the blog-to-book profile, everything goes all weird and I can’t check my regular email from the same machine.  Bloody hell.  So I am now going to write the notes in my notebook, long hand and when I think they are enough for a ‘post’, then I’ll log out of my Gmail profile that I use for everything and back into the other one for the blog-to-book.  Yes, I know there are ways you can have multiple sign-ins but it’s not working for me, for some reason.  Oh the joys of internet / IT crap.

Blah blah.
Shoots self in head.

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