Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Older women, younger men

I found the story about Colin Farrell's 'romance' with Elizabeth Taylor quite fascinating. The fact that it wasn't consummated (his words), only lends more interest and charm to the whole story.  His confessions came out during an appearance on Ellen DeGeneres, if you haven't caught up yet here's the piece:


He was 34 and she was 75, she died a couple of years later and he's saying that he would have liked to have been husband number 8 but that they 'ran out of road'.  

This whole story has made me smile, put a spring in my step and given me a huge lift.  I don't care if it may have been a tongue-in-cheek irreverent reminiscence on his part, he clearly says that he knows she wouldn't have minded him talking about it.   The wonderful thing, for me, is it kind of validates several 'romantic relationships' I've had throughout my life with men who were much younger than me but who, given the chance (from me), would have had a go at making the thing more physical, concrete or even permanent.   I made a point of putting them off and consistently refused any heavy sexual moves.  I think this was because I was terrified of being dumped for a girl a quarter of my age - I can't imagein anything more soul destroying (other than, perhaps being dumped for a bloke!).

The reality for most older women/much younger men relationships is that in 99% of the cases, young man dumps older lady eventually for a much younger, sportier model. It takes a special kind of chutzpah on the part of the older woman to 'go with the flow' as it were and not hold back.  I don't think older men find this a problem and society still doesn't frown upon a man in his Seventies marrying a girl of 25.  Why is that, in this so-called enlightened age of ours?  There is still a massive social stigma attached to a women who is in her Fifties, Sixties or beyond having a relationship with a much younger beau.     

The best relationships I've had in my life were with men who were, on average, 15 to 20 years younger than me. I can't relate to men my own age at all.  My best friend in all the world is almost thirty years younger than me.  He's married and there definitely was never any romantic liaisons between us but I relate to him on a much deeper level than I have with any other human being.  He has an almost sacred intuition and can tell just from one or two words from me in an email, for example, exactly how I'm feeling.  I absolutely adore him and find it so special that I know he has the same attitude towards me - otherwise he wouldn't have put up with my crap for all these years!  

I always fall for actors who are younger than me - look at Rory McCann.  Oh God, LOOK at Rory.  Ahem.  Calm down, get a grip.  He's almost twenty years younger than me but if he bumped into me on a dark wintry night, I'd do my best to sort him out (or climb him like a tree, as one fan said once upon a time). 

One of my bestest loves in all the world is also about 20 years younger than me - he knows who he is, although I don't think he is visiting these climes as regularly as he once was.  I think I'll always keep a candle burning for him (no, I'm not talking about Seattle, that's over and done with long ago).  So, G, if you are around, like I said many times, 'come up and see me some time' ....  (winks)

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Ho ho ho ...

To all my friends over there in the US of A and elsewhere on the planet, I hope you have a groovy holiday season and that Santa is good to you.    Thanks for popping by and checking out what I've been ranting about over this past year - lots of changes have happened in my life and I think that I'm only coming to terms with some of them now.   Life is good, I have nothing to complain about.  Although I do.

This time last year, I was just getting settled into life in the UK and figuring out how to get into Norwich on the bus.  So much has happened since then, all of it good I think (at least for me and us in the UK).   We seem to have been the catalyst for change in our family dynamics, as now my eldest son is going to be moving from Johannesburg to Durban (about a 6 hour drive from Jo'burg).   I don't think that this is such a train smash for him, he is looking forward to taking up his new role and making the most of the opportunity that's been given to him.  Of course, it will mean that his siblings who are still living in Jo'burg won't be seeing him as often and by extension, won't be around to see their nephew - my son's new baby - grow up.  I think that's causing my youngest daughter quite a bit of stress at the moment.  At least my eldest son isn't moving to the Cape - I remember when my mother moved down to Hermanus, I only saw her once a year.  Durban is do-able for a long-weekend short break, so I'm sure the family over there will still see each other fairly regularly.  They will just have to learn to make the effort.  

My youngest son is now making all sorts of noises about upcoming nuptials - possibly next year.  That's a bit of a disaster for us, as we definitely won't be able to afford to go over to South Africa twice in 2014. I doubt that we will get there for at least another two or three years.  Anyway, we will have to discuss that when we get over there in February.  Sometimes I get the impression that he only mentions a wedding when his fiance is around, to keep her happy.

I am considering making sweeping changes soon to the way I earn my living because at the moment, it's a bit of a non-starter.  I have 3, with the potential of four, clients who are supposed to be supplying me with regular transcription work.  At the moment, the bottom seems to have fallen out of this market as there is very little work available.  It may just be the time of year and things will start to change dramatically in January.  I can't compare this with any data, as I only began working for myself with any degree of regularity in the UK during March/April this year.  I have looked, though, at the amount of effort that goes into this type of work and for what I get out, it's not worth it at all.  I can only ever consider it as pocket-money, it's definitely not the money earner that I thought it would be.  So I came to the conclusion that I would rather expend the energy knowing that my returns, at the end of the month are at least above starvation level (income wise).   So in the next weeks, I'm going to be brain-storming new ideas and ways to shake this money-earning mutha up.

If I don't post again before the end of this year, have yourself a truly great time and all the very best for 2014 - I hope your dreams come to fruition and that the New Year is one of excitement, prosperity, joy, happiness, health and enlightenment for all of us!

Love to you all, but especially to you.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Lost, the secret is.

Despite all my best efforts, positive outlook, soul-searching and insisting on staying in a strong frame of mind, it seems that I am not getting anywhere at all. the universe just isn't playing ball with me at the moment.