Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Older women, younger men

I found the story about Colin Farrell's 'romance' with Elizabeth Taylor quite fascinating. The fact that it wasn't consummated (his words), only lends more interest and charm to the whole story.  His confessions came out during an appearance on Ellen DeGeneres, if you haven't caught up yet here's the piece:


He was 34 and she was 75, she died a couple of years later and he's saying that he would have liked to have been husband number 8 but that they 'ran out of road'.  

This whole story has made me smile, put a spring in my step and given me a huge lift.  I don't care if it may have been a tongue-in-cheek irreverent reminiscence on his part, he clearly says that he knows she wouldn't have minded him talking about it.   The wonderful thing, for me, is it kind of validates several 'romantic relationships' I've had throughout my life with men who were much younger than me but who, given the chance (from me), would have had a go at making the thing more physical, concrete or even permanent.   I made a point of putting them off and consistently refused any heavy sexual moves.  I think this was because I was terrified of being dumped for a girl a quarter of my age - I can't imagein anything more soul destroying (other than, perhaps being dumped for a bloke!).

The reality for most older women/much younger men relationships is that in 99% of the cases, young man dumps older lady eventually for a much younger, sportier model. It takes a special kind of chutzpah on the part of the older woman to 'go with the flow' as it were and not hold back.  I don't think older men find this a problem and society still doesn't frown upon a man in his Seventies marrying a girl of 25.  Why is that, in this so-called enlightened age of ours?  There is still a massive social stigma attached to a women who is in her Fifties, Sixties or beyond having a relationship with a much younger beau.     

The best relationships I've had in my life were with men who were, on average, 15 to 20 years younger than me. I can't relate to men my own age at all.  My best friend in all the world is almost thirty years younger than me.  He's married and there definitely was never any romantic liaisons between us but I relate to him on a much deeper level than I have with any other human being.  He has an almost sacred intuition and can tell just from one or two words from me in an email, for example, exactly how I'm feeling.  I absolutely adore him and find it so special that I know he has the same attitude towards me - otherwise he wouldn't have put up with my crap for all these years!  

I always fall for actors who are younger than me - look at Rory McCann.  Oh God, LOOK at Rory.  Ahem.  Calm down, get a grip.  He's almost twenty years younger than me but if he bumped into me on a dark wintry night, I'd do my best to sort him out (or climb him like a tree, as one fan said once upon a time). 

One of my bestest loves in all the world is also about 20 years younger than me - he knows who he is, although I don't think he is visiting these climes as regularly as he once was.  I think I'll always keep a candle burning for him (no, I'm not talking about Seattle, that's over and done with long ago).  So, G, if you are around, like I said many times, 'come up and see me some time' ....  (winks)

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