|Hermanus, Cape Town (Grotto Beach)|
5 years ago today you were taken from me, Mum. Not one minute has gone by since then that I haven't wished I could hear your voice, or just ask your advice about things that happen to us as we go through life. It's weird but I don't have that feeling of loss about dad, my soul doesn't hurt when I think about him. When he went, I just accepted it and got on with life - maybe it was because we were already estranged by then, so I didn't really feel much when he passed.
On the other hand, you were always my rock and I feel like the universe shifted off kilter when I watched you die. I'm on loose ground, wobbling about with no sense of direction. Even though I know somehow you will always be with me in spirit, it would be so nice to hug you, Mum; to breathe in your scent and give you a kiss; to ask you if I'm doing alright, if I'm on the right track? I miss you more now than I ever did - so anyone who says 'it gets easier with time' doesn't know what they are talking about, because it doesn't.