Monday, May 23, 2016

Soon come ...

I feel really weird about this upcoming trip to South Africa, I'm happy yes but I'm also incredibly anxious.   It's just such a short trip we're having this time, hardly worth the long haul flight really but it's the best our budget and the UK school holiday calendar would allow. 

This time next week, if all has gone according to plan, we'll be driving down to Durban.   I'll be staying with my eldest son and his boys (including new baby) and wife.  
I'll just have to be content with the 11 full days  - I'm not counting the day we arrive, as we're going to be fucking knackered from the flight and spending most of the day driving backwards and forwards to malls and banks and what not.  I'm also not including the day we're coming back, prior to the evening flight, because we'll just be spending the time packing and saying goodbye to everyone - it's going to be so hard.    

There are going to be a few very hard days on this trip - leaving my eldest son and his new baby plus my almost three year old grandson is going to be one of the worst - I don't know how I'm going to handle that,  not very well I imagine.  I know he's going to cry and that's just going to make me bawl and everyone else in the car too.  Give me strength, Lord to get through that day please!!! 

But then I'll have even more hard stuff to handle, saying goodbye to my youngest son from Jo'burg a couple of days later - that's going to be so traumatic - I almost had a heart attack the last time I said goodbye to him, it broke my heart into a million pieces.   I don't think I'll be able to let go of him.

Oh well ... I'll try to keep my chin up, try not to cry, try to absorb every second so it's never ever forgotten. 

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Dream on ...

For some reason my family and some friends of mine, seem to think that I have a knack for interpreting dreams.  I don't know where this has come from, perhaps when I was younger I volunteered my oracle-like wisdom after someone said they had a bad dream about spiders, which by the way can mean anyone of a myriad things i.e.: 
  • you are feeling like an outsider in some situation.
  • you want to keep your distance and stay away from an alluring and tempting situation. 
Also, dear folks, spiders are symbolic of female intuition and female influences.   The  interpretations don't stop there however - it's not enough to just see a spider in your dream,  Spidey has to be doing something specific.   So ....
  • if he's spinning a web - you will be rewarded for hard work, promoted in your job or be recognised for an achievement.   Or you just like dreaming about spider's webs.  Ka-ching.
  • My favourite one about seeing webs in a dream, means that you are spending too much time on the Internet and you need to take a break.  
  • spinning webs are also indicative of the creative side of a person. 
  • Webs can also mean that you are entangled or trapped in the webs that you are weaving yourself (ooh, intrigue!) or other people are plotting and you are unawares.
  • Multi-coloured spiders mean a situation that you should avoid.   I agree, many coloured spideys aren't very nice to people.
  • If you kill Charlotte in your dream, then you are going to have a lot of bad luck and misfortune and it damn well serves you right because you Don't Kill Spiders! 
  • If you see dead spiders in your dream (nightmare??), it doesn't mean you are in a movie with Bruce Willis and a little boy with too many teeth, it means you've overcome some temptation (aw, dammit, I love a bit of temptation). 
  • If incy wincy is climbing up a wall, then your desires will be realised very soon ... I want this dream tonight please. 
  • If, however, incy wincy is falling down on you from the ceiling it means that you are unable to escape from some relationship (or you just need to do some spring cleaning). 
  • Baby spideys mean a new relationship.    'Weeee!'  ... baby spiders are so cute  (a la the end of Charlotte's web).
  • Yuchy spider eggs mean you aren't living up to your potential and are emotionally constipated. 
  • Ouch - if spidey bites you, this means you have a conflict with your mother or some other woman in your life - it could also mean that you are shortly going to turn into Spiderwoman.   Coowal.
  • If you eat a spider (gawd, how could you?) or the spider is in your mouth (aargh, I love spiders but even I draw the line at that) then it means that you're in control and not afraid to take charge (or you're insane). 
  • The most stupidest thing I ever read in these dream interpretation things was 'if you see a spider with  multiple eyes, you must trust your gut instinct, you have powerful intuition.' .... Duh, ALL spiders have multiple eyes dumbasses. 

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

there but for the grace of ...

I went to hand in some documents at the local high school this morning and on the way back to the car, I passed a red car that seemed to be jam packed with very large people.  The door was open and there was a lot of shouting and noise coming from inside. My first thought was, ‘hillbillies’.   There was a strong smell coming from the car, like you get when you pass by a bakers or a pastry shop but it was mixed up with the smell of musty body odour.

I went back to my car and was siting inside with my grandson, waiting to go into his school, when a few seconds later,I noticed a bunch of people walking up the same pavement I’d just walked along, they were arguing and fighting – ‘til they were almost alongside my car.   I couldn’t hear their conversation because my car windows were shut and also my grandson was yacking away ten to the dozen about a funny passage in 'The BFG' which we are now reading every morning in the car before school. 

There was a woman and three boys.  They looked like her sons but I might be wrong on that.  One of the boys was in his late teens or early twenties – he was the one having a big argument with the woman.  One of the boys looked about the same age as my grandson (i.e. about 7) and the other one looked to be of primary school age.  

To say they were all unkempt is a bit of an understatement.  But I’m not making snobby judgements here.   The woman was overweight (so what, there are millions of wealthy overweight people) she was wearing track suit bottoms that didn’t fit her and a top that was too short – so you could see her belly, she had a loose cardigan on over her clothes, everything looked dirty. She had dirty hair, it didn’t look like it had been brushed or washed in a very long time, her face was dirty with ingrained dirt that comes from when a person does not wash regularly.  Her eldest son was also very dishevelled and dirty and his dirty stained clothes didn’t fit him properly either.  He had a wild mop of black curly hair and very bad skin.  

The two younger boys had school jerseys on with unrecognisable school badges – so they may have come from some other area and maybe were going to enrol at the same school where my grandson goes?  I don't know, I couldn't see where they went after they passed my car, so it's possible they entered the school grounds and I didn't see them go in. 
The younger boys looked a bit better off clothes wise but they were also dirty and one of the boys, the youngest one, continually scratched at his head, which made me wonder if he had head lice.   It was the youngest boy that caught my attention the most.  He was walking quietly alongside his family, looking down at the pavement, holding his hands in front of him, trying to hold his hands nicely and not fidget.  He had yellowy blonde hair and such a serious face.   I just wanted to scoop him up and take him home!   

There are many things that went through my mind as I watched these people for those few seconds as they went past my car: 

1.        Why and how did they get to be so poor?  Where had they come from?  Were they ‘gypsies’, ‘travellers’, ‘hobos’?
2.       They weren’t thin, so at least the boys were all getting fed. 
3.       I could see quite clearly that they were very poor but why couldn’t they at least have clean hair, clean clothes?  It doesn’t cost the earth to keep yourselves clean.     I have lived a very long time in South Africa – I often visited friends of mine who lived in African 'townships' and were the poorest of the poor – they did not have money for luxuries.  But they were always clean, their clothes were clean, you could eat off the floor of their huts. Because you’re poor it doesn’t mean you have to lose your human dignity.
4.        I knew that I couldn’t offer any help to the little boy, even if I wanted to.  If the boot was on the other foot, I’m sure I would despise anyone who dared to assume that I needed charity or thought they could care for my child better than me.  But nevertheless, my heart went out to this little boy.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

and moving on ...

I've posted a few things about the Radiohead album, I am still listening to it whenever I can - I need to transfer it to my phone, so I can listen in the car from time to time (cos my old jalopy doesn't have a cd player :( ....  
I'm going with the word 'transcendental' at the moment, it seems to fit my mindset when I listen to the tracks.

There is never anything simple and ordinary about a Radiohead record, that's why I love this band so much - they play 'classical' music - it's not straight up verse, chorus, verse, bridge, chorus.   And it's no self-indulgent meandering waste of airtime, they build up to a crescendo/get to the point, then end. Done. 
Yes, there are many people out there who can't stand Thom's vocals but his is a tone that compliments whatever is going on instrumentally with each song - the music would be a vast empty space without his vocal input.

So in this album there are shimmering aural soundscapes, strings, massed voices (I won't say choirs), synth/electronika effects, exotic percussion, innovative bass lines, guitar work so beautiful is makes me cry  ... in other words everything you need.  I've been waiting for this food for YEARS (no exaggeration there).   For once, absolutely nothing to complain about at all.   

Sunday, May 8, 2016

A Moon Shaped Pool

This will take a while to absorb ... hold the phone, I'll get back to you next month some time.

So far I'm besotted with it.

One thought:
A ``shaman'' is a specialist and master of the ecstatic trance-journey (just saying)

Friday, May 6, 2016


Oh god ...
[I remember Neil Young ]

Full Album comes out on Sunday. 


Somewhere over the rainbow

In the latest short video on DeadAirSpace  Thom now has us following him into the light in what looks like a vacant parking garage somewhere  ...

No, it's not pretentious, don't be silly.   This is art.  This is what musical art is, what it SHOULD be, what it always was.  Long live ...  

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

.... low flying panic attack

am i some kind of moron?
I have this track on auto-repeat - since paying for it (yes, folks I parted with a whole 0.99p yesterday) and downloading the MP3.
Thom Yorke, you dog.
The chord switch at 1.49 (with the strings) is fucking amazing.
Totally Radiohead.
all mine

"Abandon all reason
Avoid all eye contact
Do not react" ... ya, right.

Oh I love this band so much.