Thursday, May 19, 2016

Dream on ...

For some reason my family and some friends of mine, seem to think that I have a knack for interpreting dreams.  I don't know where this has come from, perhaps when I was younger I volunteered my oracle-like wisdom after someone said they had a bad dream about spiders, which by the way can mean anyone of a myriad things i.e.: 
  • you are feeling like an outsider in some situation.
  • you want to keep your distance and stay away from an alluring and tempting situation. 
Also, dear folks, spiders are symbolic of female intuition and female influences.   The  interpretations don't stop there however - it's not enough to just see a spider in your dream,  Spidey has to be doing something specific.   So ....
  • if he's spinning a web - you will be rewarded for hard work, promoted in your job or be recognised for an achievement.   Or you just like dreaming about spider's webs.  Ka-ching.
  • My favourite one about seeing webs in a dream, means that you are spending too much time on the Internet and you need to take a break.  
  • spinning webs are also indicative of the creative side of a person. 
  • Webs can also mean that you are entangled or trapped in the webs that you are weaving yourself (ooh, intrigue!) or other people are plotting and you are unawares.
  • Multi-coloured spiders mean a situation that you should avoid.   I agree, many coloured spideys aren't very nice to people.
  • If you kill Charlotte in your dream, then you are going to have a lot of bad luck and misfortune and it damn well serves you right because you Don't Kill Spiders! 
  • If you see dead spiders in your dream (nightmare??), it doesn't mean you are in a movie with Bruce Willis and a little boy with too many teeth, it means you've overcome some temptation (aw, dammit, I love a bit of temptation). 
  • If incy wincy is climbing up a wall, then your desires will be realised very soon ... I want this dream tonight please. 
  • If, however, incy wincy is falling down on you from the ceiling it means that you are unable to escape from some relationship (or you just need to do some spring cleaning). 
  • Baby spideys mean a new relationship.    'Weeee!'  ... baby spiders are so cute  (a la the end of Charlotte's web).
  • Yuchy spider eggs mean you aren't living up to your potential and are emotionally constipated. 
  • Ouch - if spidey bites you, this means you have a conflict with your mother or some other woman in your life - it could also mean that you are shortly going to turn into Spiderwoman.   Coowal.
  • If you eat a spider (gawd, how could you?) or the spider is in your mouth (aargh, I love spiders but even I draw the line at that) then it means that you're in control and not afraid to take charge (or you're insane). 
  • The most stupidest thing I ever read in these dream interpretation things was 'if you see a spider with  multiple eyes, you must trust your gut instinct, you have powerful intuition.' .... Duh, ALL spiders have multiple eyes dumbasses. 

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